We have a pantry drawer about 2 year-old height and without fail, every day (not kidding, every DAY) my baby girl will open the cupboard drawers and take out a box of chocolate muffin mix and beg me to open it. 

“A-one?” She’ll ask and hold the box up to me. 

Thinking if I got eye level with her and explained “There are no muffins in this box, we have to MAKE them.” She would get it. 

“A-one?” She would happily ask again after she patiently listened to me. 

This went on for days.

She loved carrying around that box despite me never opening it. I didn’t want to crush her expectations and open the box for her only to find:

no muffins.  

Finally one day, after days of her melting down when I’d take the box away - I opened the box.

When seeing the cocoa-powder filled plastic bag instead of muffins she did the immediate crumble-fall and laid face-down on the kitchen floor and cried.

Feeling like a failure, I quickly scooped her up and showed her how we had to make the muffins. She lost interest, but my boy helped me put them together really quickly and we were excited to give one to her once they were baked. 

My baby girl, carrying around that muffin mix holding such high expectations of what was inside - reminds me (and er, all of us?) and what we expected at the beginning of 2020. 

At the start of last year I knew what I wanted life to look like with John, my business - his career - just all of it. I was so excited for a new decade that New Years felt like Christmas. Just the fresh start I’d been craving. 

But, just like my baby girl: I expected already made muffins in a box. I expected bliss, not a global pandemic.

However this past year has been my favorite one yet. It’s been FAR from perfect - in fact I don’t know if it’s ever been harder. I feel as though I've walked through fire.

I am a new person. 

I’m just new. 

I have learned that our happiness can never depend on our circumstances or our expectations. That God’s trials are ways of drawing us closer to Him. That there is only peace to be found in God and our faith. That we have to trust Him and ourselves, or else we’ll really never know how to live. 

When we finally gave our baby girl a chocolate muffin she was ELATED. 

“Oooooooo! Dankttchuuuu! Dannnnnktttchuuuu!” (thank you) She said, then happily made a mess of it. 

This year we’ve had some incredible miracles happen to us, people step into our lives, new opportunities fall into place and I literally have tears streaming down my face like a trickle-fountain because I’m overwhelmed with the good we’ve experienced thus far -  when the start of the 2020 new year felt like jumping across the grand canyon. There were nights I could not sleep for fear of "What's next?"

I’ve learned we have to actively seek the miracles in our life to find them. If we don’t look for them, we miss them. 

We cannot hold that chocolate muffin box and expect already-made warm muffins. It’s going to take some work. But when we do that work, that choosing faith over fear work - and just let go and trust, it all works out. Maybe not how we expected it to, or WHEN we expected it to - but it is worth it. 

Just ask my baby girl. 

Love you friends. We’ve got this. Hope you bake some better-than-boxed chocolate muffins with me (I'm preeetty sure I could eat 5 of these in one sitting and not blink) and celebrate the good that has come from this past year. 

We have a whole new one to enjoy ahead.

xo Robyn

the most perfect deep dark chocolate muffins

Recipe adapted from Huckleberry

These muffins are perfect. I have done absolutely nothing to change the recipe. I can say that about like, two things I’ve baked in my life time, but bake these, and you’ll understand why. The ONLY thing I did differently, was take this “tea loaf” cake and bake it into muffins. And they really are the best chocolate muffins I’ve ever ever had. *whispers* Please never eat a chocolate Costco muffin again. Okay? Bake these.

Bakers notes: If you want, these are delicate and rich enough to serve as bald “cupcakes” for dessert instead of breakfast. They don’t need frosting, so don’t bother, but they are magical served warm with a bit of salted butter OR freshly whipped cream. Seriously.

• ¾ cup/ 100g  pastry flour or cake flour ( (not whole wheat pastry flour!) )

• 6 tablespoons/ 45g all-purpose flour

• 6 tablespoons/ 30g unsweetened cocoa powder

• 1 teaspoon baking powder

• ¾ teaspoon baking soda

• ½ cup/ 120ml freshly brewed coffee ((fresh instant coffee is great too!), luke warm, not hot)

• ½ cup/ 120ml buttermilk, (room temperature )

• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract

• 1 ¾ cups/ 300g chopped dark chocolate (60-70% cacao) ( split chocolate measurement into two parts: ¾ cup / 130g and 1 cup / 170g )

• ½ cup + 2 tablespoons/ 140g unsalted butter, (cold-ish room temperature)

• 1 cup + 2 tablespoons/ 225g sugar

• ½ teaspoon kosher salt ((if using sea salt, you may need up to 1 tsp) )

• 3 eggs

• Superfine sugar for topping or, to make them extra special, make some freshly whipped sweetened cream

1. Preheat your oven to 350F / 180C Prepare a muffin tin with liners. You can use the tulip liners or the regular accordion-style muffin liners. Just keep in mind if you use the tulip liners, they make a slightly bigger muffin and need to be baked longer. For a loaf: 9 x 5” / 23cm loaf tin. (And if you’re making a loaf the bake time is MUCH longer - plan on 35+ mins).

2. Over a double boiler melt ¾ cup / 130g of the chopped dark chocolate until barely melted. Remember in the words of Mary Berry, “chocolate melts in your pocket” so it doesn’t need to be a scorching heat to melt - shoot for a medium / low heat, and turn off the heat when your chocolate is almost melted but you still see chunks of chocolate. Keep stirring until melted and then remove the bowl from the heat. Set aside to cool.

3. While chocolate is melting, make your instant cup of coffee.

4. Combine the liquids in one big bowl: coffee +  buttermilk. Set aside.

5. Beat together butter, sugar and vanilla until light and fluffy in a stand mixer with the paddle attachment. About 7 mins. Don’t forget to scrape down the sides, and whip together again so it’s completely smooth and incorporated.

6. Add eggs one at a time, beating well after each addition. (Scrape down the sides of the bowl again, making sure everything is incorporated.)

7. Whisk your dry ingredients together in a separate bowl: flour, cocoa powder, baking soda and salt.

8. Add dry ingredients slowly to the butter / sugar / egg mixture until barely incorporated.

9. Slowly add the buttermilk / coffee mixture, and scrape down the sides of the bowl (and the bottom of the bowl!) until it’s all barely  incorporated. Take care not to overmix.

10. Take the bowl off of your stand mixer and grab a rubber spatula. 

11. Slowly fold in the cooled melted chocolate, and the chopped chocolate. 

12. Separate the batter into prepared muffin tin with liners or loaf tin. 

13. For muffins: bake for about 20-25 mins or until a toothpick comes out with crumbs, but not wet batter. For loaf tin, bake for 45-55mins. (Maybe longer?) or until a toothpick comes out with crumbs but not wet batter. If the loaf seems to be getting too brown on top tent it with foil and continue baking until done. 

14. Enjoy warm, as is, or warm with a tiny smear of salted butter or for something really special, a blob of freshly whipped cream slightly sweetened. When you enjoy these warm the chocolate is still melty and wonderful and it’s all just heaven. 

15. These muffins keep tightly sealed for about 3 days at room temperature or 5-7 days in the fridge. 

Bakers tips:

A Trader Joe’s 72% huge chocolate bar works really well for the chocolate here. Or a mix of guttiard dark chocolate chips and disks if you don’t feel like chopping. 

Can I frost these?

This muffin is a really tender muffin, and I can’t suggest frosting them, plus to me they just don’t need it. They’re tender and moist and have such a deep rich bittersweet chocolate flavor that nothing’s really missing except maybe some butter or soft whipped cream. My opinion. 

Can I make these ahead of time?

You can make the batter the night before, refrigerate and then bake them off in the morning. Keep in mind they’ll probably need to bake longer because your batter will be cold. If they seem like they’re getting too done on top but not quite baked in the middle, tent your muffins with foil and bake until done. 

You can also bake these the night or day before and rewarm in the oven at 325F for about 10 mins or until they’re warm and chocolate is melty. 

What if I don’t have buttermilk?

You can use yogurt or sour cream and loosen it up with a splash of whole milk. 

Butter? 

You can use salted butter in place of unsalted butter and leave the salt amount the same. 

I haven’t used a different replacement for butter but you’re welcome to try coconut oil or sunflower oil.  Keep in mind butter contributes to that really tender crumb, so the crumb here will be different should you choose another fat. 

Can this recipe be doubled? 

Yes. I’ve doubled it quite a few times and it works beautifully.